Not mean.

Firm

I have noticed that many parents who are told to be more firm with their kids have blurred the lines between being firm and unmoving and being mean and abrasive. They falsely think that enforcing boundaries and holding the line on their position means using forceful words, tones, and body language. Though there may be rare times for such intimidating tactics, you are most often shooting yourself in the foot by using them.

You can and should be firm when enforcing boundaries without raising your voice. Instead of rough talk or yelling try calmly stating your expectations, and the consequences (if they apply). Then go on about your business always ready to enforce your position.

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