People often think of peace as the absence of conflict. However, in order to achieve peace, people must make peace with each other, and this process often involves things like restitution, forgiveness, honesty, apologies, and, yes, conflict.
Some parents avoid conflict with their children in the name of peace. They try to keep the peace, or the status quo, instead of trying to make peace by addressing wrongdoing. Understanding the distinction between making peace and keeping the peace may help parents create a more peaceful home.
Why It Is More Effective to Make Peace Than to Keep the Peace
Some parents may not have considered the difference between making peace and keeping the peace. When parents keep the peace, they often do not fully address their child’s misbehavior until it has spiraled out of control and created an even bigger problem. Keeping the peace often delays a future confrontation and starts chipping away at the respect children have for their parents. When parents settle for keeping the peace, children may see this as a weak point in their parents, and it can make them feel insecure or provoke the desire to rebel.
Scripture clearly says that those who make peace are blessed. When parents are peacemakers, they address the sinful, inappropriate, or negative actions that their children take, and they do it with love. The Book of Matthew quotes Jesus saying, “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” At the same time, elsewhere in Scripture, Jesus the Messiah is described as the Prince of Peace. A sword can be made into a tool for peace when it is held by a righteous person. Parents must try to be peacemakers, and in doing so, they will strengthen the love and respect their children have for them.
- Does my teen spend adequate time studying?
- Is there anything that indicates that my teen cheats on his or her social media pages?
- Do I actually see my teen doing school work at home?
- Does he or she always ask to do homework at the house of a classmate?
And remember, you can bring up this topic with your teen. Just ask how they handle this issue and if they have been falling into the temptation to cheat.
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